Addicted Devotion

Have you ever devoted yourself to something or someone and felt that you lost yourself within it only to find out that you were left in the end? That is tough isn't it? How many people have truly learned to cope with the feeling of loss and failure? Honestly, failure is our worst enemy.

It is in my prestige opinion that life is short and honestly, we only have ourselves to live for. Every time I love someone with my whole self, I am left all alone. I normally blame myself and feel if I would have done something differently or changed more, then I could have kept it. Eventually, I break to pieces and grieve but this is only because I wasn't strong enough to understand the real problem. My problem you ask? I always feel the need to impress people, make them happy, and please them. This is not a bad thing by any means, but the problem comes in when I jeopardize who I am for these people. These people are true to themselves, know exactly what it is they want, yet I'm bending like a straw as if I'm not a person with needs and wants and expectations. This is my fault. I take the blame.

Now, my senseless acts are turned into self hatred and a suicidal mission because I do not care about me as much as I care about these people. How do I dare do this to myself and hurt on behalf of an imperfect someone? My devotion has been to the wrong things. My love has been taken advantaged of because I allowed it to. I became weak, something I'd never thought I'd be.

When going through these journeys and paths, we never imagine our addictions to take over our life. We don't even realize that we are addicted. You are. Just like a person who battles drugs, smoking, drinking, etc., we also can be addicted to feelings, people, and love. I know it's hard to believe, but it does exist. Ever see someone who is always in a relationship no matter how bad the last relationship went? That person is addicted to being in a relationship. And what about the girl who can't let go her of her ex-boyfriend? She's addicted to him. As humans, we latch on to things to help us cope through this tough life. It's in our nature. The key is to not allow it to control you.

We are strangely addicted to things and/or people. This is a fact, but don't allow it to overpower you. That is when you lose yourself and your value as a person. Your importance is the most imperative life on this earth. Besides, it's your world, we just live in it.

Breath of Fresh Air

I took a deep breath and realized that the wait is over. Isn't it amazing that you go through a million and one heartache/heartbreaks, pains, trials, and rough situations to only find yourself on top in the end? Who would have thought right? Well, hopefully you... People who personally know me, know that I use the phrase "I'm winning" a lot or "losing". I use this playfully and literally, but when I think about life, I'm thinking about either ascension or descension. So I honestly believe that either you're winning or losing, there is no middle ground. 

Let's make this clear right now, I'm not claiming to be a God or a know-it-all where I have all the answers to all of your problems. Hell, I don't even have the answers to all of my problems, let alone yours. I can say this though, winning is all in your attitude. I haven't always been the most positive person around. I naturally look for the bad when things are too good because I feel there is always bad following good. I hate surprises and I hate the feeling clueless to  what will happen next because I'm not prepared for the situation. I just recently learned how to go with the flow and let nature take its course. If you're anything like me, I get it. I know this may be the toughest thing you struggle with daily but it was worth the lesson. If you're not like me, then Im just letting you know that I finally understand your logic. Thanks.

Let's be clear. Terrible things happen in our life. I don't know why. It doesn't matter if you're good or bad, something hard will hit you at least once or twice in your time on this earth, trust me, we all have our days and no one is exempt. What matters the most is the aftermath of the storm, not the storm itself. Keep your spirits high and attitude at its best. For starters, stop complaining so much. It's life and you won't make it out alive anyway. Complaining won't do anything but stress you out more and create hype around the very problem you're trying to get rid of. How is this helping you any? It's not, so stop it. Next thing you have to remember is that you are defeated if that's how you respond to your hardships. If you believe you won't get through this and this is way to much for you, then you will eventually fail. Winning is a mindset. Most people who have any accomplishments in their lifetime often say, "I always knew I would get it or make it so I never gave up." Keep fighting the good fight, it'll pay off in the end.

Another smart move is to watch the company you keep. Positive people bring positive energy and releives the negative out of your life. How do they do this? They make your problems smaller than you. In all actuality, they are. Your support system will often times complete you because you will depend on them the most. I'm thankful for all the people who are surrounded in my life, because they made me realize that my pain has paid off.

Finally. A breath of fresh air.

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

-Mahatma Gandhi-