Addicted Devotion

Have you ever devoted yourself to something or someone and felt that you lost yourself within it only to find out that you were left in the end? That is tough isn't it? How many people have truly learned to cope with the feeling of loss and failure? Honestly, failure is our worst enemy.

It is in my prestige opinion that life is short and honestly, we only have ourselves to live for. Every time I love someone with my whole self, I am left all alone. I normally blame myself and feel if I would have done something differently or changed more, then I could have kept it. Eventually, I break to pieces and grieve but this is only because I wasn't strong enough to understand the real problem. My problem you ask? I always feel the need to impress people, make them happy, and please them. This is not a bad thing by any means, but the problem comes in when I jeopardize who I am for these people. These people are true to themselves, know exactly what it is they want, yet I'm bending like a straw as if I'm not a person with needs and wants and expectations. This is my fault. I take the blame.

Now, my senseless acts are turned into self hatred and a suicidal mission because I do not care about me as much as I care about these people. How do I dare do this to myself and hurt on behalf of an imperfect someone? My devotion has been to the wrong things. My love has been taken advantaged of because I allowed it to. I became weak, something I'd never thought I'd be.

When going through these journeys and paths, we never imagine our addictions to take over our life. We don't even realize that we are addicted. You are. Just like a person who battles drugs, smoking, drinking, etc., we also can be addicted to feelings, people, and love. I know it's hard to believe, but it does exist. Ever see someone who is always in a relationship no matter how bad the last relationship went? That person is addicted to being in a relationship. And what about the girl who can't let go her of her ex-boyfriend? She's addicted to him. As humans, we latch on to things to help us cope through this tough life. It's in our nature. The key is to not allow it to control you.

We are strangely addicted to things and/or people. This is a fact, but don't allow it to overpower you. That is when you lose yourself and your value as a person. Your importance is the most imperative life on this earth. Besides, it's your world, we just live in it.