My blissful distractions take me away from my troubles. In reality, I have so much to be grateful for and so much amazement in my life, but my troubles still weigh in on me. Have you honestly been completely content with your life? In my reality, my life is perfectly pieced together. I am touching my goals and have accomplished my committments that I've been expecting, but my something is missing. In my head, I am falling apart. I feel as if a dark cloud is hovering me constantly. I am never satisfied.
As I explore my search for happiness, I wonder if happiness is just an illusion. My smiles are known to just cover my pain, but to never truly reduce it. I surround myself with positivity, yet my negative energy still releases and captures my attention. My honest opinion, I feel like the people of the world is dillusional if they honestly believe that there is a happy ending. For example, when I think of life, I think of death and we never associate good or happy with death. Death is actually defined as extinction; destruction. How can you even muster hope or a slight smile out of this?
Personally, I am pro-living, but I do not create a naive existence for myself. Most people are either "glass-half-full" or "glass-half-empty" type of people. I choose to not anticipate either. I have a glass of water, then I'll drink it if I'm thirsty and if I'm not, I'll save it for later. I'm only thankful that I have a glass. This makes me hopeful, yet able to understand the actuality of the situation. I actually have a glass of water. Period. This relates directly to my life. I mean, my life is no box of chocolates or walk around the park. I've had to struggle, to fight, to fail, to hurt, to break, and be broken. I appreciate it, my life, the most.
I talk to God daily and my biggest question is to understand what I need to understand about myself to move forward. This is the most difficult thing for me sometimes, because I have to learn to be patient and to follow direction without knowing the expectations or outcome. I'd simply prefer to know. My shortcomings are personal. My failure is intimate. I am in touch with my downfalls. They are my family.
"I never thought of losing, but now that it's happened, the only thing is to do it right. That's my obligation to all the people who believe in me. We all have to take defeats in life." - Muhammad Ali-
All of this is a motivation to be better, to move progressively towards something brighter. I want my horrids to shine. I want you to see my losses as triumphs. I mean, what's really a winner? In my eyes, someone who has lost multiple times but has learned to make better choices and create a better reality. Reality. If it's any indication that I'm human through failure, then that's the humbling spirit I must possess. Don't be foolish and think that you won't fail. Don't be crazy and think that you cannot admit to it or even grow to learn from it. It's human nature to fail. Consider failing a part of sin, something we commit to each and every day. I adore my wisdom that I've learned from these challenges and I fiend to be better. I crave the approval of the winning nation, because they possess my character, they relate to my pain, they understand my hustle. My reminder is that I am on the brink of greatness.
"Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed." -Booker T. Washington-
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