Good Guys

Have you ever heard the saying, "Good guys always finish last"? This is a common misconception. I'm here to tell you that you are so wrong. The good guys get the girls, at least the guys that take time to actually approach the girl. Let me explain. I have heard numerous times on several occasions from many different guys that they have always liked me, thought that it was mutual, and was afraid to approach me because they weren't sure if I was on the market. My response to them, "I had no idea, I do have a boyfriend and I probably would have considered you before if I had known." Now although I don't have a boyfriend now, I still notice that some of my friends tell me all the time that different guys like me and I would have never guessed it.

That's the problem men. You're so scared of approaching women because you're afraid of how she may react. Then you try to ease your way into her life with the friend actions (trying to be there for her & show her how good you are for her) instead of being straight forward. Well guess what guys, you know what this does? It puts you in the friend zone. Yes the zone where you're more of a brother to her than a companion. The reason being because you didn't approach her as if you were interested in her and attracted to her, you approached like her homegirl would when she's going through a rough patch.

Men, Please stop this immediately! If you're interested in a woman, show her that you're interested in her by letting her know. All she can do is say yes or no, but this will keep everything out of the friend zone and stop making you feel like you wasted your time when she's going to choose the other guy instead. Most cases, women want to be rescued from the asshole that has hurt and abused her. Women yearn for that man to come in and make it better and show us how a man is supposed to treat us. She wants that nice guy to assure her that all men aren't the same, will not hurt her the same, and will not treat her the same. But what you do you nice guys do? Try to work your way in instead of just being upfront and you end up empty handed and wonder why the other guy always get the girl. The other guy approaches her with more craftiness and appeal. He tells her point blank, either it's this or that and stands by it. The nice guy on the other hand settles.

Stop settling for what you can get with these women, because there are plenty of women who wants that nice guy that charms her to death, caters to her needs and wants, but is still strong like only a man can be. People do what you allow them to. Good guys have the ability to finish first, but they choose to finish last.

Getting Back To Me

I have seemed to lose touch/track of reality over the past two and a half months. I had forgotten what makes me smile and chuckle and how to be random and feel free. I had forgotten what gives me life and the very reason I get out of bed everyday and work as hard as I do. I had lost my passion, my drive, my very reason for being me. I lost me. How do you forget how to live? I mean, really live. I had forgotten the very reason I breathe. I didn't realize it for the past eight and a half months, I was slowly losing me until it I was completely out of control. I lost my "mojo" and my very being and I didn't even know it. Most people don't have the opportunity to lose themselves like I did. I do not have any kids to live ve no significant other, I don't have any responsibilities other than myself. Even though I don't have the responsibility of anyone else, you would think that I would be able to control me, but nope, I lost it. I'm slowly getting back to me, day by day. It's much harder than it sounds and I know it sounds ABSOLUTELY ridiculous, but it's possible. I'm learning how to please myself. I'm learning what it means to live for myself and find whatever that "it" is that I may need to keep pushing, without constant negotiations and nudges. I'm learning how to just do it. I said all of this to say to you, where ever you are and who ever you may be. Hold on to all of yourself that you have. Sometimes, we tend to get lost in relationships, marriages, friends, career ambitions, and just plain old life. Don't let yourself be taken in this constant whirl spin we call life and forget the very reason you do the things you do. In my young (very very young) life, I managed to so I can only imagine what anyone else could be going through. Stay true to yourself, to your dreams. Find the very thing that makes you tick and chase it like it's a wild horse and you desperately need it to ride through the wind. DON'T EVER let your dream die because it is what makes you who you are. You wouldn't be you without that extra zest and spice you gather from wanting something just for you. I'm definitely getting back to me, so please don't EVER lose you because there is no guarantee you can get it back.

It Factor

I can't shake it. No matter how hard I try to remove myself from that feeling of needing it and wanting it. I wish I could just walk away from it but when you truly feel it, it's like a drug. I feel like I need it apart of my life and I will do anything to have it. It doesn't need me though. It doesn't fiend on me like I fiend on it. I breathe life into it and I'm the reason why it breathes. How dare it leave me? How dare I hurt over it when I'm the very fuel to the fire? Every woman has an it in her life or has had an it. (Notice I said woman). You probably are looking at your it right now, or thinking of it. It's like a leech and it sucks all of the life out of you. Everything you have, it takes and leaves you empty, torn, and broken. It makes me feel like I will feel it again. It makes me doubt everything I've ever known. It makes me question myself in ways when I know I should be sure of it.  It is a modern day monster under your bed, that steals away your peace. Some people would like to agree that you're better with it in your life, but you really just walk around dead on the inside searching for a place to rest your being in it. It is my boogie man and ironically my very place in reality. My it is the most powerful thing to me in my fastidious life and it resides on an extricate mirth. I am the reason it laughs. I am the reason it smiles. I am the reason it lives. I am dying to abdicate myself to it. I'm here to debunk it. It is not authentic and you should never trust it. It is like a maelstrom, no one is safe in it's presence. It is love.

Confessions of a Woman

Want to hear a simple truth? I am weak. I am weak because I'm a human, I think with my logical emotions, and I have to be in control of every situation I find myself placed in. My very weakness, however, makes me incredibly strong. My weakness is my strength. The reason being is because I'm honest with myself. Does this make me a bad person? Of course not and you're sadly mistaken if you think it does. I don't believe in fairy tales or the "movie love" stories. I do not think like the average woman. Does this make me any less of a woman? Of course not. I feel love and pain but I'm protective of myself and place myself in a secluded private place within myself so that I can't feel any emotion. I detach myself from any situation where I would I have to let my guard down. Being a woman, it is hard work and I'm new to this but in my short learning experience of walking into my womanhood, I've learned that the first mistake we make as women is not knowing or fully understanding our worth and potential. Not only understanding it, but making it active and effective towards our lives. And you know what women, it's your fault. I understand bad things happen to us and it affects us in both negative and positive ways. Bad things happen to everyone, remember? Sometimes we deserve it due to our poor judgement. Sometimes we were the innocent bystander that just so happened to be in the line of fire. No matter what the reason for it to happen to you, take ownership of the experience, don't let the experience own you. You should NOT let ANYONE or ANYTHING negatively impact your self image. If you don't know how valuable you are, how can anyone else??? My truth, I've had to learn this lesson in pain and heartache but I will NEVER forget it. However, every pain I've experienced, every hard lesson I've learned, and everything/every one I lost is worth going through, worth learning, and worth the loneliness. It's worth it because now you and I can actually see my strength. Can you see yours?

Reconsider

I read some tweets on twitter from a friend of mine and it made perfect sense, so I thought I would it share it with you.

"Y'all wanna know some interesting facts about non-athlete/entertainer millionaires? Only about half of their wives work outside the home and the ones that do are TEACHERS. They live well below their means. They wear inexpensive suits & drive American-made cars. Only a minority drive a current year vehicle. Only about one in five of them are NOT college graduates. Many hold advanced degrees. 8% law degrees, 6% medical degrees, and 6% Ph.D.s. About two thirds of them work between forty-five and fifty-five hours per week. 55 % of their kids are currently attending or have attended private schools. Lastly, they have accumulated enough wealth to live without working for ten or more years. Soooo I said all that to say look around you and realize that the ones driving the Benzes and Beamers aren't the millionaires. #shoutouts to all the REAL millionaires though. It won't be long before I'll be joining you."

Now, think about this statement and think about who you idolize and what you value as important to your life. Why do we value sports and entertainment and see that as the only way to becoming successful? What happened to good old fashioned hard work. I mean, let's be perfectly honest with ourselves, everyone can't sing or dance and every can't play sports. If you can play sports, the odds of you becoming a "PRO-athlete" is 22000 to 1. If you can sing, dance, or even act, the odds of you becoming famous is 1,500,000 to 1. You have a better chance of dying or getting an terminal illness. My point is, STOP LIVING WITHIN FALSE ILLUSIONS AND UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS!! Now, I do want you to understand that if you love something so much that you're willing to work for it and go get it, then by all means, go for it. But I did say work for it. But I want to tell all the lazy bums who are just waiting for a hand-out, stop it! Yes, education is important. Yes, you can do more with a degree than you having a chance of becoming famous or just sitting around waiting for things to happen. Sometimes I hear people talk about all of these stupid schemes on how they could get rich fast or how they can "come-up" in a short period of time. Why waste your God-given smarts trying to manipulate the system and buying things you don't need instead of channeling all of that energy towards doing something better with yourself?? Buying yourself a benz or a beamer and going shopping in exclusive stores is nice on the outside, but realistically, most people who actually can afford those cars and these shopping sprees do not waste their money on things like this. These people have savings and spend their money smartly instead of wasting it on frivolous things. Stop living in a facade you call life and make your life your reality. If you want something, work for it and stop relying on unrealistic means and go get it!!! I mean, really ask yourself, "What do I have to lose?"

Life After A Break-Up

People always say don't let it change you. That's the most I've heard during the time of my recent breakup. Why is that though? Why not let it change you? People must understand that things happen for a reason and yes both parties are at fault. For example: He cheated on you, but what did you do to push him away? It takes two to make a relationship work and when it doesn't work out, we need to stop blaming, stop making excuses, and live up to our fault. So maybe, just maybe, you need to change and you need to work on yourself. Sometimes giving to much and doing to much is bad. Some people can't handle all of that. A wise person once told me, being in charge of your life is pressuring enough so why would you want someone or even put someone in charge of yours? So when you're coping after picking up the pieces of your life, it may be best to leave some of those pieces on the ground because they're the reason you're hurting. People always connect change with something bad. Change isn't bad, it's different. People hate what they don't understand. With that being said, don't be the average person. Just because it's out of our element doesn't mean it can't be good.

Living Within Yesterdays

Have you ever sat down and reminisced about great memories in the past and felt that you were better then? Well, I have only one thing to ask you... Why? Why do we constantly live in little yesterdays of our past and wonder why we aren't happy within today? The answer to that question is things are better than they seem when we are actually living it through memories. We don't see the little horrible details that we should see. We probably weren't better then and we are more than likely creating great memories right now, but we are to busy looking through our "rose-colored glasses" to see that things weren't all that great. For example, Why didn't things work out with that ex that you love oh so much? Because he neglected you, left you feeling lonely, and was irresponsible. That's not what you remember though. You remember that you were together for three years, had a great life, and you did a lot for him and the relationship. You don't remember the nights you sat up crying and wondering when things would get better and/or change. Everything in life is a cycle and happens for a reason beyond our control. Some times, we don't understand why things are the way they are, but why do we question it anyways? Instead of living for yesterday, how about you begin to live for today and appreciate everything you have included in your life now. Besides, you only live once... Cherish it.